by R. Gil Student I. Shadchan for the Masses There is a recent Netflix series about a real shadchan, matchmaker, who sets people up to date for marriage. This raises an interesting question about matchmaking ethics and halakhah. I have not seen the show and do not intend to see it. From what I have been told, while the shadchan ...
Read More »Halachah Musings
When to Say Malei
by R. Gil Student I. Days Without Malei The Mishnah (Mo’ed Katan 27a) discusses when we eulogize someone before burial and when refrain from doing so. On days of communal happiness, a sad eulogy evokes feelings contrary to spirit of the day. Among those days are Rosh Chodesh, Chanukah and Purim. Later customs developed regarding lesser practices, such as the ...
Read More »Mechutanim in Jewish Law
by R. Gil Student I. Fathers-in-Law There is a deep lesson in the fact that there is no English equivalent of the word “mechutanim.” Mechutanim are the parents of your son- or daughter-in-law (mechutan is the male part of the mechutanim). When your child marries, you gain not only a son or daughter but also a set of corresponding parents ...
Read More »Marrying a Woman With Your Mother’s Name
by R. Gil Student I. Avoiding Similar Names It is hard to find a lifemate. Part of the so-called “Shidduch Crisis” is the limitations we impose on potential spouses, even among those within the same social circles. One of these limitations is a widespread custom, albeit not universally followed, of a man refraining from marrying a woman with the same ...
Read More »Can You Call a Rabbi by His Name?
by R. Gil Student I. Respecting Your Torah Teacher Calling a Torah scholar by his title is a matter of showing honor to the Torah. You must show respect to your mentor, your rebbe, by, for example, rising when he enters a room (Shulchan Arukh, Yoreh De’ah 242:16). Among the other obligations to your mentor is refraining from calling him ...
Read More »Who Reads the Haggadah?
by R. Gil Student I. Three Seder Practices Generally speaking, when it comes to the Pesach Seder, people know the details of their own family’s practices but not those of many other families. From conversation, they might know what different people eat for marror but not necessarily when they stand and sit, how they engage in conversation, in what format ...
Read More »Pesach Avoidance
by R. Gil Student I. Avoiding the Korban Pesach We know from tax law the difference between avoidance and evasion. Tax avoidance involves structuring your finances to legally minimize your taxes. In contrast, tax evasion is refusing to pay taxes that you owe. Obviously, when it comes to mitzvos, evasion — refraining from fulfilling an obligation — is sinful. Is ...
Read More »The Quick Bedikas Chametz
by R. Gil Student I. Checking for Chametz According to Torah law, we must get rid of all of our chametz, our leavened bread, before Pesach. However, this can be accomplished either by rendering it all ownerless or by disposing of it. Rabbinic law requires us to do both — bi’ur chametz, disposing of it, and bitul chametz, rendering whatever ...
Read More »Family and Mishlo’ach Manos
by R. Gil Student On Purim, we send gifts of food to friends, in fulfillment of the verse “U-mishlo’ach manos ish le-rei’ehu, and of sending portions a man to his fellow” (Esther 9:22). Mishlo’ach manos is one of the mitzvos of Purim. We fulfill it by sending two different food items to one person, although it is common to send ...
Read More »Women and Mishlo’ach Manos
by R. Gil Student On Purim, we send gifts of food to friends, in fulfillment of the verse “U-mishlo’ach manos ish le-rei’ehu, and of sending portions a man to his fellow” (Esther 9:22). Mishlo’ach manos is one of the mitzvos of Purim. We fulfill it by sending two different food items to one person, although it is common to send ...
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