Chullin 82-88: The Torah Taught Us Manners
by R. Gidon Rothstein
Three times on 84a, the Daf for Tish’a B’Av as it happens [and please let me say, as I have been, over and over again: how crazy is it that there is a Daf for Tish’a B’Av, when we’re not allowed to learn Torah?], the Gemara uses a tantalizing phrase, limdah Torah derech eretz, the Torah taught us proper ways of living. On this page, all three teach about meat-eating, proper and im. The phrase appears elsewhere, too, hinting at a sense of ethical ideas not codified in specific laws. [I have noticed I gravitate to such broad concepts rather than “real” halachah. I will work to bring that back into balance.]
We’ll get there, but this time I want to track that phrase, see where the Gemara spotted the Torah teaching us derech eretz, and what those lessons were.
Eating Expensive Meat, with Effort
The first of the three on 84a comes in a baraita wondering about Vayikra 17;13, a verse primarily concerned with kisui ha-dam, the obligation to cover the blood of birds and chayyot, non-domesticated animals, after slaughtering them to eat their meat. To refer to how the person secured these creatures, the Torah says asher yatzud tzeyd chayah, who shall hunt the hunt of non-domesticated animals.
The baraita thinks asher yatzud might exclude birds too ready at hand, geese or chickens, except tzeyd includes anything we capture. The first part of the phrase teaches us, says the Gemara, not to eat meat unless we engage in some similar preparation. Rashi says it means not to eat meat regularly, lest it impoverish us.
The next baraita continues the theme of limiting our meat, based on Devarim 12;20, about besar ta’avah, non-sacrificial meat. The verse speaks of when God expands our borders, should we crave meat, and infers a derech eretz lesson, eat meat only because of a craving, a pressing urge.
In the ensuing discussion (where Rashi points out that the Gemara assumes meat was more expensive than fish; today, it is more expensive than chicken and some cuts of meat), the Gemara focuses on affordability, R. Elazar b. Elazar endorsing eating meat only once one has fifty maneh, with only the wealth of a hundred maneh enough to justify daily meat eating.
Rounding Out the Picture
R. Yochanan eventually says these ideas were articulated in a time when people were healthy, didn’t need meat for their diets. Inhistime, even people with little money should make sure to eat, and R. Nachman, a few generations later, ratifies borrowing money to eat meat.
The third example on our page reads Mishlei 27;27 to teach us not to accustom our children to meat and wine, Rashi says to train them to be satisfied with lighter (less expensive) fare. [This would seem to be advice relevant to all sorts of standard of living issues, but that’s as far as this Gemara takes it.]
Rambam seems either not to have accepted R. Yochanan’s restriction, or thought his times were again ones where people were healthy enough not to need regular meat. In De’ot (loosely, Laws of Character) 5;10, he records our Gemara’s interest in feeding one’s family according to one’s means, to eat meat only le-te’avon, when we have a real hankering for it, a healthy person can do fine eating meat only from Shabbat to Shabbat, unless s/he is wealthier, when more becomes acceptable.
Sefer HaIkkarim 3;15, takes the Torah’s speaking of meat in terms of te’aveh nafshecha, your soul craves or yearns, to mean all meat eating was a concession of the Torah’s, similar to permitting captive wives (his example), the Torah adopting a realistic view of what it could impose on people at the time.
It implies that any Jew who can resist eating meat, should.
Aruch HaShulchan Yoreh De’ah 28;6 takes the perspective of R. Yochanan and R. Nachman we saw Rambam omit, in our times, we are weak enough to even borrow money to eat meat, although, as Yam shel Shelomoh Chullin 6;3 had said, this is only to the extent we need it for our health. Beyond that would be not derech eretz.
Meat Derech Eretz Other Than Chullin
Before we leave meat, Yoma 75a has a baraita in the name of R. Yehoshu’a b. Korchah, the Jews asked for meat wrongly, so it was given with a punishment attached, as opposed to bread, which they requested correctly. He derives that we should eat meat only at night, when Hashem brought the birds for the Jews. Day was for man, parallel to bread and vegetables.
In Beitzah 25a, Rami bar Abba thinks the idea of skinning and chopping up sacrifices before offering them also taught a general derech eretz idea, to prepare meat before eating it, I think so as not to seem too gluttonous.
Wedding Concerns
Away from meat, R. Yirmiyah b. Elazar, Berachot 61a, noted Hashem’s having brought Chavah to Adam, a kind of wedding attendant, teaching us derech eretz, a gadol, greater or more honored person, should help make a wedding even for a katan, a less prominent person.
Chafetz Chayyim Ahavat Chessed, in his notes to chapter three, thinks the idea applies to visiting those who are ill as well, someone more important or significant should still visit those who are ill, however lacking in social prominence they may be.
Sotah 44a inserts a financial planning component to weddings. Devarim 20;5-7 calls for certain people to refrain from serving in battle, one who has built a house and not dedicated it, planted a vineyard and not partaken of the produce, betrothed a woman without completing the marriage.
The baraita there notes the order, takes it to teach us derech eretz, a man should build a house, plant a vineyard, then marry. Rambam puts this in De’ot 5;11, the paragraph right after the one with meat we saw earlier. He thinks a person should develop a livelihood [he took vineyard to be an example, apparently], build or buy a residence, then marry. Fools [for Rambam, who ignore the Gemara’s prescriptions of derech eretz] marry first, figure they’ll get a house when they get a house, and only then worry about a profession.
Torah Temimah Devarim 20, note 31, records Maharsha’s view, this advice applied only to those with the wherewithal. He agrees, thinks it unthinkable that a person too poor to have a house would never marry. Rather, this is the prudent and ideal way to structure a life. [He is obviously right in the sense that if someone is or will be homeless, forever, we wouldn’t say don’t ever marry. But few people are homeless, forever.]
Basic Politeness
Rambam did not record the last two examples I found, as far as I could tell. Yoma 4b focuses on the beginning of Vayikra, where God calls Moshe, then speaks to him, and extrapolates a rule for us, we should call people get their attention, then open the conversation.
Last, in Bava Metzi’a 87a, a baraita in the name of R. Yose notes dots in the Torah on the letters ayo, the aleph, yod, and vav of the word elav, when the angels address Avraham. It teaches us derech eretz, we should ask our hosts after their wives (when the wives weren’t present), and vice verse, the wife about her husband, to help them feel more bonded to each other.
The Derech Eretz We Find From the Torah
For life advice couched in this term, limdah Torah derech eretz, the Torah taught us the way of life, we had plenty of meat-eating lessons, not to eat too much, not to get too used to it, and more. From there to weddings, we should participate regardless of relative social standing, but enter into such marriages, ideally, only after laying the groundwork of home and profession. And, finally, politeness with others includes calling them before starting a conversation, and asking our hosts about their spouses, to be part of helping foster close bonds in their marriage.
From here the Torah taught us the ways of life.