by Joel Rich
According to the Pew Research Center, which has analyzed the ATU surveys, Americans age 60 and older sleep just over 8½ hours a day, on average. About seven hours are spent on leisure; three hours on chores and errands; a little more than one hour on eating; about one hour on personal activities, such as grooming and health care; and just under an hour on unpaid caregiving and volunteering.
Work remains part of the equation, as well. Men age 60-plus spend two hours a day, on average, on paid work; women age 60-plus spend one hour and 12 minutes.
Looking more at leisure, the average person age 60-plus spends the bulk of their leisure time—about 4¼ hours each day—in front of a television, computer, tablet or other electronic device. (That’s an increase of almost 30 minutes in the past decade.) The balance of leisure time is spent, among other activities, on socializing, reading, listening to music, attending events, etc.
Question: what would a similar survey of our community reveal?
Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved –Kate Bowler
Kate Bowler is a professor at Duke Divinity School with a modest Christian upbringing, but she specializes in the study of the prosperity gospel, a creed that sees fortune as a blessing from God and misfortune as a mark of God’s disapproval. At thirty-five, everything in her life seems to point toward “blessing.” She is thriving in her job, married to her high school sweetheart, and loves life with her newborn son.
Then she is diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer.
The prospect of her own mortality forces Kate to realize that she has been tacitly subscribing to the prosperity gospel, living with the conviction that she can control the shape of her life with “a surge of determination.” Even as this type of Christianity celebrates the American can-do spirit, it implies that if you “can’t do” and succumb to illness or misfortune, you are a failure. Kate is very sick, and no amount of positive thinking will shrink her tumors. What does it mean to die, she wonders, in a society that insists everything happens for a reason? Kate is stripped of this certainty only to discover that without it, life is hard but beautiful in a way it never has been before.
From the book:
Appendix 1 Absolutely never say this to people experiencing terrible times 1. Well at least… 2. In my long life I’ve learned… 3. It’s going to get better, I promise 4. God needed an angel 5. Everything happens for a reason 6. I’ve done some research and…. 7. When my aunt had cancer… 8. So how are treatments going, how are you really? Appendix 2 Give this a go 1. I’d love to bring you a meal this week. Can I email you? 2. You are a beautiful person 3. I am so grateful to hear about how you are doing and just know that I’m on your team 4. Can I give you a hug? 5. Oh, my friend, that sounds so hard 6. ***Silence*** How do these lists comport with your hashkafa/understanding of hilchot bikur cholim?<hr style=“border-top-width: 1px; border-top-color: black; border-top-style: solid;” /><ul><li><a href="https://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/928567/rabbi-aryeh-lebowitz/a-basic-understanding-of-modern-orthodoxy-part-2-what-we-do-well/">Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz-A Basic Understanding Of Modern Orthodoxy Part 2 - What We Do Well</a>
So what’s good about MO? 1) Love of Israel 2) ability to articulate ideas 3) ability to see grey in the world 4) Less OTD due to wider derech (no stats to back this up 5) We really believe it (me-halevai) [me] 6) One sees and employs all the dimensions of HKBH’s creation through the lens that HKB”H gave us (the Torah) to play out their holistic destiny as part of the eternal people
Introduction to maaser kesafim (tithing $). A lot of focus on who was the first of the Avot to practice it. Interesting insights: 1) There are different levels of rabbinic enactment (chiyuv vs. “inyan”) 2) More money correlates with less fear of heaven(hmmm) 3) Importance of living a life of tzniut (humility)
There are enough poskim who forbid setting a coffee maker for making coffee
Are your retzuot (tfillin straps) peeling? Could they be peeled?
There seems to be some disagreement on the production facts (who says there’s no such thing as a machloket in mtziut?) What, if any, changes (generic and by specific producers) have taken place and do they cause the retzuot to be not kosher.
We can accept predictive analysis to protect but not to punish. (Me-some underlying bias will likely show up based on data sources).
17th of Tammuz issues including: Fasting on the 9th of Tammuz, When do the restrictions of the three weeks start (evening or morning of 17th); Starting time of fast; Ending time of fast; Ashkrenaz and Sefard practices on fast day haftarah
Generally, we don’t support reinternments but in case of need (move to Israel, possible future degradation…) it may be supportable. Claims conference monies could go towards orphan cemeteries.
Do we say achshivei (our eating something shows we consider it food) by gelcap and/or pills which contain non-kosher substances? Do we differentiate between medicines and vitamins?
Karbanot issues – Tamid shel shacharit/mincha – two mitzvoth or one? . Is hashlama a dim in Tamid or in karbanot. In general R’Weiss thinks Rambam/Ramban often are focused on total 613 mitzvot count when it comes to this type of question. (rather than on the specific mitzvah rules issue)
Important mussar on zealotry (it must be pure).
If you have no alternative, it’s ok to have a minyan in a room/place that’s previously been used on an ongoing basis for inappropriate purposes.
on Shabbat that you should avoid it (me-likely means many of amcha will say it’s fine)
Introduction to tchiyat hameitim through the eyes of the Rambam, Ramban et al. Why is it really important to believe in it and that it’s from the torah?
There are a number of possible sources for the prohibition on intermarriage. Can one (especially children) attend such a marriage or the after party? When is it a good idea to maintain a connection?
A woman gets reward for supporting her husband’s learning Torah. When there’s a second marriage, who is she buried with? Other relationship issues discussed as well.
Parsha thoughts include: Kannaim pogim, (zealotry), Parceling out Israel; Spousal inheritances; Ordination; Rosh chodesh; Pinchas and Eliyahu….
Hashkafa and halacha of keeping pets. The moderator doesn’t get the anti-position.(Me-see the Ramban Talmud introduction – There are no slam dunk proofs[my words, not his in halacha)
A different look at Yoseif and his relationship with the rest of his family.
Discussion of the evolution of the prohibitions of the three weeks. The main focus is on Shechiyanu, music and haircuts.
Analysis of the Rivash’s tshuva concerning the need for a get (halachic divorce) in cases of what may be considered non-halachic marriage. Specific applications include civil marriage and Ethiopian’s status.
How to understand why mitzvah kallah (light) and chamurah (heavy) should be pursued with equal vigor. “The loss” associated with or mitzvah may be related to doing it for the wrong reason. Some thoughts on our relationship with the world around us.
One must set aside time for learning every day and should have one Rav. One should focus on learning applicable halachot.
Part II. There was some general opposition to codes as well as specific opposition to the Shuhchan Aruch
What is the halachic definition of mufla b’beit din and what are the halachic implications of such status? How and why might advanced age be an issue for a Sanhedrin member?
Friends are important (see Rambam’s definition of three levels of friendship)
Shiriya (singing competition) in mixed gender camps is, at best, allowed due to shaat hadchak [very pressing circumstances] (TBD). Here’s why
Fathers and mothers play different roles in a child’s development. One important role is to inculcate in a child a halachic gyroscope(my term), which will allow him to withstand peer pressure.
Focus on our important values and you won’t be jealous of others’ material possessions.
Kashrut Q&A including: Bishul akum; Pot yisrael; maarit ayin; slurpies; pepsi; carvel; cut up fruit; toothpaste; mouthwash; coffee and bugs in lettuce/strawberries
General introduction to kaddish and its evolution into amchas’ idea of the primary way to honor the departed. Then on to the sh”ut history of women’s saying kaddish
Women wearing Tfillin? No!
Mitzvot aseih shehazman grama (time bound mitzvot) need to be defined. If the trigger is time, then it qualifies; if there’s a separate trigger (e.g. bringing of the omer, waxing of moon) it may not.
Please direct any informal comments to [email protected].